But, trust me; when I’m quiet, when my posts are the most superficial is when I’m sharpening a number of questions and ideas that pierce the emery cushion of my mind. I'm presently working on a post about Generation X and its influence on the emergent movement. It's taking a long time, but I hope to have it finished by
I have also been reflecting on the words of Jesus, and how He desires our mercy, not our sacrifice.
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During this Lenten Season, I have been exploring the question, "Is my relationship with God the main focus of my life?" This has distracted me from blogging. It's always an adventure when I stretch painfully toward the Truth and connect in new ways with my choice-making Center. When I reach it, I always discover my most authentic voice and the courage to use it. I want to choose the honest and beautiful; the great and the magnificent. Don't you?
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The past few days, I've been enjoying the work of Anton Chekov, the amazing Russian writer. I came across a letter he wrote his brother. Here is an excerpt:
Educated people in my opinion must satisfy the following conditions:
1. They respect a man's personality, and therefore are always tolerant, gentle, polite, yielding...They excuse noise, and cold, and over-roasted meat, and witticisms, and the presence of other people in their house...
2. They are compassionate, and not only with beggars and cats, for they grieve in their soul for what the naked eye does not see...They do not sleep for nights so as to help their parents pay for their brothers' studies, to buy clothes for their mother....
3. They respect other people's property and therefore they pay their debts...
Anton Chekov at the age of 29.4. They are pure in heart and fear a lie as they fear fire. They do not lie, eve in trifles. A lie is humiliating to the listener, and it debases the speaker...they do not throw dust in the eyes of humbler people, and do not make up soul-to-soul conversations when they are not asked. Out of respect for other people's ears they are often silent.
5. They do not belittle themselves to arouse the compassion of others. They do not play on the strings of other people's souls so that they shall sigh over and fondle them. They do not say: 'People do not understand me!' because all this produces a cheap effect; it is vulgar, musty, false.
6. They are not vain glorious. They do not care about such false diamonds as acquaintanceship with celebrities, shaking hands with the drunken...the raptures of a well-met fellow at the salon, popularity in public houses. ...Doing a farthing's worth, they do not walk about with their brief cases as if they had done a hundred roubles' worth, and do not boast of having been admitted where others are not admitted.
5. They do not belittle themselves to arouse the compassion of others. They do not play on the strings of other people's souls so that they shall sigh over and fondle them. They do not say: 'People do not understand me!' because all this produces a cheap effect; it is vulgar, musty, false.
6. They are not vain glorious. They do not care about such false diamonds as acquaintanceship with celebrities, shaking hands with the drunken...the raptures of a well-met fellow at the salon, popularity in public houses. ...Doing a farthing's worth, they do not walk about with their brief cases as if they had done a hundred roubles' worth, and do not boast of having been admitted where others are not admitted.
***
From the pages of my first blog, September 18, 2001 (seven days after 9/11)
It takes a really, really long time to change... From the pages of my first blog, September 18, 2001 (seven days after 9/11)
...After the Oklahoma bombing in 1995, everyone drove with their lights on for days. But, eventually, the lights were turned off and our grief was only illuminated in nightmares. Collectively, we met in the dark night, all of us dreaming in black and white and rubble, blood pouring from all those people, in shades of red. In the morning, our goal was business as usual. Nobody wanted to admit to change, and before it could make a difference, it had eluded us.
Change is a galaxy. The journey does not come easy. It is a long evolution that begins in the moment we embrace the Divine...
***
I have started to follow a new blog, Memoirs of a Heroin Head. This Generation Xer (born in 1975) lives in Lyon, France. I invite you to follow along with me. I follow a number of diverse blogs. This is part of my spiritual journey - a long, slow walk toward greater Mercy and Understanding. Will you join me? Hat tip to The Melindaville Blog.
Here is an excerpt:
The first hint of spring came today. It arrived on the breeze like a welcome kiss. Oh, its too early to celebrate the warmer seasons, I know, but this afternoon brought just the tiniest hint of romance. Some things transport me back to magical times, times that never really existed, and the changing seasons are always one of those things. I remember a few years ago, renting the upstairs flat of a Victorian maisonette in Fulham, and on warm spring or summer mornings I would flush and scrub the wooden floorboards with cold soapy water...Spring offers it all. I think this romanticism is one of my biggest problems. Heroin is also a romance... a distorted, depraved and narcissistic romance...
11 comments:
Great post by Chekov. Russia has winters that are cold and hard with leadership that is just as injust, but the Russian people will always have a warm if not hot soul.
Robert
Jen--\
A wonderful, thought provoking post. This isn't just for "Generation X," This is worthwhile reading for ALL generations. I am eager to read your post of the "Emergence Movement." I sincerely hope it does not take you a "Year of Sunday's" to complete. You Go Girl!
God Bles..
Hugs-- Gracie
Man I saw Chekov and got all excited you were about to make some kind of cool Star Trek reference...
lol!
"Change is a galaxy. The journey does not come easy. It is a long evolution that begins in the moment we embrace the Divine..."
One of the most perfect sentences ever written. Your grace is extraordinary and we are so fortunate that it seeps out from your heart and the margins of these pages into the blogosphere. It may not be a ranch dressing recipe but its still a beautiful, beautiful post. ;) I demand a recount!
Jen, thank you for this recommendation... it's very touching. What's even more admirable is you pass no judgement... that really is a remarkable attribute. Take care & best wishes, Shane.
@Gracie - Thank you! I'm working on it. =)
@Muffin Man - This is probably not going to surprise you, and it is complete heresy for an Xer, but I had no idea there was a Chekov character on Star Trek.
@TR - You leave be the best comments. You have no idea how much your encouragement means to me.
@Shane - In ancient Israel, the primary function of the judge was to save and issue blessings. It has all become so twisted up, hasn't it? Jesus was pretty clear about all this. He said to not judge, so that is my prayer and hope because the measure we give is the measure we get. And I need a hefty dose of measure. =)
I mean this as a compliment...When I first scrolled down on the pic of Chekov, I thought it was an ancestor of your husband. Then I read the post...You would really like Anna Karenina. Tolstoy examines Chekov's ideas through the actions and thoughts of his characters. Beautiful writing, Jen. I agree with you about finding mercy rather than sacrifice. Plus, it makes me feel better about the Tagalongs I ate.:)Have a great weekend!
It's so good to hear what's been going through your mind--what you're chewing on and contemplating.
One of the things I love about your blog is how naturally you shift from playful shallow water to the deep, and how real and cohesive you seem in all of it.
At the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy, I'm going to say this: Thanks for just being who you are, and sharing it with the rest of us.
@Jenx67
You have no idea! NO IDEA!
*feints*
haha!
The "core" characters were Kirk (William Shatner), Uhura (Nichelle Nichols), Sulu (George Takei), Spock (Leonard Nemoy), McCoy (DeForest Kelley), Scotty (James Doohan), and Chekov (Walter Koenig).
He was the Russian guy! :)
Hmmm. It is interesting to me that you have this connection to the OK City bombings and I have a connection to the WTC 9/11. One day perhaps we should compare notes; what a blog that would be eh?
I am just struggeling to practice kindness.
@Lorrie - I'd love to hear about it. I've yet to write anything - beyond that small paragraph - about the bombing. Very sad times. But, I'm glad I was here in 1995. I was working for the federal government, but so glad I wasn't in that building. We lost a classmate from college. Jill. Forever 27. We should collaborate.
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