Beth J. Harpaz, a writer for the Associated Press, has penned an article, Are We Raising a Generation of Nincompoops, which has appeared in a slew of dailies and online new sites over the last 48 hours. Here is her opener:
Second-graders who can't tie shoes or zip jackets. Four-year-olds in Pull-Ups diapers. Five-year-olds in strollers. Teens and preteens befuddled by can openers and ice-cube trays. College kids who've never done laundry, taken a bus alone or addressed an envelope. Are we raising a generation of nincompoops? And do we have only ourselves to blame?I have to admit, some of the things in this article hit me square between the eyes, though I'm not confessing which ones. Not today anyway. =)
Harpaz, who by broadest definition is a Gen Xer (she was born in 1961) comes by this subject matter naturally. In 2009, her book, 13 is the new 18 (and other things my children taught me while I was having a nervous breakdown being their mother) was published.
What do you think? Are we doing too much for Generation Z? If so why? Why do the majority of Gen Xers seem to overparent and coddle their kids so much?
C
5 comments:
I loved the article. I could go on and on about this although I am as guilty as any Gen X Mom and Dad.
I especially noticed the helpless effect when I was a Cub Scout den leader. Most of the kids had never held a screwdriver or a knife let alone a can opener and were totally lost without their techno gear. Many of the parents were helpless as well.
I think any parent who thinks doing everything for a child is to their benefit is raising a life illiterate.
It's an incredible oversight in their parenting for them to think they aren't the primary life teachers to their children and that they don't have to engage them in the actual act of living life. For it to be effective teaching they have to engage.
You can't explain how to cook to a child. You have to have them in the kitchen cooking with you and then have them cook on their own. You can't explain laundry, you have to have them in the laundry room or at the laundromat doing it with you.
The same is true for boys or girls. Raising boys that don't know how to clean or girls that don't know how to mow a yard or change a flat tire is sexist and ultimately a disservice to the child.
Personally I don't think it's a function of Gen X or Y or Z. I think it is a mistaken mind set of privilege throughout the ages.
My six year old daughter can't tie her shoes, zip her jacket, fix a snack, brush her teeth. So yeah. I agree.
I had to do everything for myself as a child, so now I do everything for her, and it's spoiling her.
I make her bed for her EVERY day. And I tell her, "My mom NEVER made my bed. I always had to do it, and I hated it."
Then I joke she won't do it for her child, since she won't even know how. And so my granddaughter will make the bed for my great-granddaughter, who will never make the bed for her daughter...
Ha.
Interesting subject. Thanks for sharing. :)
If you are a good parent:
You teach your children well and to be responsible for their actions.
You teach them to be self sufficient , and to be their own person.
You teach them Morals, Scruples and most of all responsibility for their own actions.
You teach them to Love and Care with a modicum of caution.
You Love them unconditionally.
But to be the best parent you must allow your children to screw up!
Wisdom is only gained by mistakes.
Accept the fact that your children are going to screw up as much if not more than you did.
Learn from that and you will be compassionate and caring without being overbearing.
Learn to help them through it all instead of criticizing and punishing.
Your job as a parent is simple, Keep you children safe and teach them well . This does not mean smother them.
Simply you have to let them learn for themselves ie.. screw up. Be there for them when they do and help guide them to a better place.
Jen--
I have pondered these thoughts for years-- wondering if I had placed too much responsibility upon my children in the effort to help them be more independant and responsable as they ventured into adulthood. They were taught to respect their elders.
Looking back, I am sure I did in many ways. I can only hope my four children, (now all over the age of 40)will forgive me if I failed in parental duties.
When my son inlisted in the USMC at age 17, he was the only one in his barracks that knew how to iron his clothes. When my girls entered college they were able to do their laundry and keep their dorm tidy.
My children, all with kids of their own, have made me proud. I love them dearly.
Love you-- Gracie
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