|Summer 2011 | Venice Beach California|
For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. From the Gospel According to Mark
I have been standing in front of the same mountain for nearly 13 years and I am tired of the scenery. I am tired of trying to move it with a spade. I am tired of my own hollow prayers. And, I know it’s not that God hasn’t been listening. It’s that I’ve been standing in front of this mountain expecting it to move when the mountain that has been in my way all this time has been my own colossal lack of courage.
If I’d had courage — if I’d taken courage — that which God freely offered to me, I could have walked up the mountain or gone around the mountain. I could have triumphed over the mountain that shadows my beautiful life and family.
I have wasted 13 years waiting for something to move when all along all I had to do was surrender. Why do we torture ourselves with impossible situations that breed requests God can never answer? Me and my pathetic, bendy spade. It was never going to move the mountain.
And, I have found the prayer God can answer: Lord, I lift up my eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. Help me walk away from the mountain in me.