I have taken two long walks in my life and both of them were very short.
The first walk was from my front door to my car, which was sitting in the driveway. It was December 1997, and I was returning to work after maternity leave. Juliette was just five weeks old.
The second walk was 14 months later. My first husband of nearly 8 years told me one day after he ran to the store to buy Stove Top Stuffing that he was leaving. If you must know, he was wearing a yellow oxford. And, he was exiting the marriage just as I was hoping for another baby.
During those first few difficult days, I went to stay with a friend, an experience that was so unbearable it reminded me how lucky I was to have my own home. So, after four days, I returned to my house, empty of matrimony and vacant of the sanctuary a husband provides.
So, the second long walk was down the hallway leading to the baby’s room; on the wall, wedding portraits and pictures of our little family now completely busted apart.
And, this is how you rebound from anything. You take the long walks you do not want to take and you keep walking and walking and walking and walking, and sometimes, you might even have to build your own silk road in order to reach a new civilization. So you build it, one paver at a time.
Chances are, someone or even a few someones will help you lay the bricks. They won’t even know they are holding the trowel, scooping up a pear of mortar, and placing it on the foundation of your new life. They are being used as instruments of a loving God who is doing what He promises: working all the bad things together for your good.
This is how you rebound from anything. You get up and you start walking. And, you don’t stop.
In her book, You Learn By Living: Eleven Keys For A More Fulfilling Life, Eleanor Roosevelt wrote:
You are able to say to yourself, `I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’
The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
I couldn’t agree more with the sentiment. You can either sit there and wallow or you can get up and get moving towards healing.
@ROSE BYRD – I never knew the sanctuary only presence provides. I realize it’s very anti-feminist of me to say it, but it’s true. I’m so glad we connected this year. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
@GRACEIE – Thank you. Limping totally counts!
@LE – Your treasures arrived earlier this week. I’ve been soaking up the recipes each night before bed. This is the coolest gift. I love the language of Australia. I will post about this soon. Merry Christmas, Le!!!! And, those sweet babies, not to so baby anymore. And Man in Charge. =)
hello darling girl – great thoughts as always … hoping these hols are bright and merry for you and the babes and the dearest R – all our love from afar le xox
Jen, I am in awe of your bravery in posting these details of the end of your marriage like this! You know, I had almost forgotten how a mother of a new baby really needs shelter from the world provided by the child’s father, preferably. Guess some guys still feel THEY are the ones who should be sheltered, huh? You have come such a LONG way from those days and those dependencies, girl! The “bad” certainly did work for the “good” in your case.
Good Post! I am still taking long walks. At times I limp along the way, but I NEVER give up.
Love you– Gracie