Men Who Refuse To Grow Up
Last July, Marianne Power wrote a commentary for the UK’s Daily Mail, Generation who refuse to grow up: No mortgage. No marriage. No children. No career plan. Like so many 30-somethings, Marianne Power admits she’s one of them… Here’s an excerpt:
“People are scared of thinking of themselves as adults. They cannot see anything good that comes with being an adult; all our cultural values are with youth.”
Now, comes a campaign out of Australia to Gen Y from wearing cute onesies. It was started by Lachlan Harris, former spokesperson for Aussie Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.
Here is the letter Harris put together for the campaign:
To: Gen Y
As hard as it is to believe, you are adults now. I know that’s, like, totally LOL, but it’s a reality, so just accept it.
I’m not sure you’ve been told this before, but adulthood is a bit of mixed bag. It comes with some fun stuff like being able to drive a car, and drink alcohol, but also some not so fun stuff, like getting an actual job, and moving out of home.
One of the least talked about, but most important, elements of adulthood is the responsibility to stop wearing clothes designed for small humans in nappies.
When you’re a baby you lie in bed all day and do nothing but eat, shit, and swing wildly between intense happiness, and deep heart wrenching sadness.
You are totally dependent on your parents for your every need, and you’re vulnerable to almost anything the world can throw at you.
You wear Onesies at this fragile stage of life to help protect you from the elements, and make it easier for your parents to feed, clean, and care for you.
I know everything I’ve just described sounds suspiciously like your current existence, but believe it or not you’ve changed, you’re no longer a baby.
Sure onesies seem cozy, and cuddly, and speak to all our yearnings for warm milk, and pooing without leaving bed in the morning, but no matter how hard you try and fight it, your baby days are over.
There are a whole lot of things that babies do that you just can’t get away with as an adult, breast feeding, swimming naked at the beach, and wearing onesies are three fairly solid examples.
I know the future is a scary place, filled with responsibility, work, and worst of all onesieless independence, but if you embrace it, you never know, you might just enjoy it.
And we talked about some old times, And we drank ourselves some beers, Still <strike>crazy</strike> immature after all these years
It’s a great question, really. Why is taking forever for Generations X and Y to grow up? I’m referring older Yers and younger Xers, by the way. We can’t expect people in their late teens and early 20s to be completely mature, and I think by the time people hit 45, its a rapid downhill progression toward old age. Inevitably, even the most irresponsible of people will mature in some ways based on the pace at which they consume pop culture. Rare is the person who remains an early adopter forever. But, youth are born into the current trends with nothing new to adopt.
In June, I learned about a study commissioned by Nickelodeon UK, which revealed men don’t mature until they’re around 43 — 11 years after women. In celebration of this sad study, The Daily Mail published the study’s list of 30 signs that men are still immature. Here they are:
1. Finding their own farts and burps hilarious
2. Eating fast food at 2am
3. Playing videogames
4. Driving too fast or ‘racing’ another car at the lights or on the motorway
5. Sniggering a bit at rude words
6. Driving with loud music
7. Playing practical jokes
8. Trying to beat children at games and sport
9. Staying silent during an argument
10. Not being able to cook simple meals
11. Re-telling the same silly jokes and stories when with the lads
12. Not liking to talk about themselves or have a proper conversation
13. Hating books because they have short attention span or think they’re boring
14. Doing crazy dance moves
15. Their mother still does their washing
16.Their mother still makes them breakfast or, indeed, any meal
17. Wearing trainers to night clubs
18. Owning a skateboard or BMX
19. Not eating vegetables
20. Changing jobs regularly
21. Getting too excited over stag do’s
22. Trying to do wheelies or other stunts on their bike
23. Driving a modified car or one with a loud exhaust/boy racer
24. Showing off about how girls are attracted to them
25. Wearing pyjamas, specifically cartoon pyjamas
26. Using dodgy chat-up lines
27. Showing off about protein shakes/weight-lifting/how much they ‘lift’
29. Wearing baggy jeans
30. Having a cartoon bedspread
Anyway, here is an excerpt from the New York Times about onesies for adults.
They are the fashion equivalent of mashed peas and carrots, a retreat into toddlerhood for the style-sated. Adult-size onesies, some with floppy feet and outsize industrial zippers, have lately winged their way here from Europe, where they are the comfort gear of club kids, mall rats, jet-setters and homebodies nursing the aftereffects of a surfeit of holiday cheer.
Russia, AIDS and the Gravest Generation
Maybe all immature onesie-wearers roaming around London, Sydney and New York should be sent to Moscow to solve problems for what Andrew Sullivan calls “the gravest generation.”
More about this here.