It’s Generation X vs. Millennials in the 33rd season of Survivor, a reality television series known for exotic locations and tough competitions.
Slated to be one of the best Survivor seasons yet, the show features 20 participants divided along generational lines. I can’t wait to see this! During the trailer, Gen-Xer “Chris” talks about how important it is to be battle-tested. “If you’ve never been knocked down, you don’t know how to get up and fight.”
Check out the trailer. Which generation do YOU think will outwit and outplay the other?
Here’s a rundown of totally made-up episodes from Fusion. This is not — THIS IS NOT — how it is going to play out, but some of these are very funny. They even mention a Jennifer who makes an alarming discovery that flannel flammable. Haha!
After trying and failing to find an Airbnb nearby—well, there is the one, but it doesn’t have WiFi—the Millennials arrive at their camp. Millennial Stephanie P. isn’t the first Survivor castaway to bring a bible as her luxury item, but she is the first to do so ironically. “I am here to make friends,” Tyler tells the camera.
After three days on the island, the Millennial tribe has failed to build a shelter, but they have built three apps.
The Millennial tribe finally manages to start a small fire when Seth’s e-cig explodes, and then a second, much larger fire when Kyle’s hoverboard explodes. Over at the Gen X camp, Jennifer makes the alarming discovery that flannel is highly flammable.
Millennial Madison is evacuated by medics due to severe dehydration after she refuses to drink the water over concerns that it’s not organic.
Feeling homesick, the Millennials have carved rudimentary models of iPhones out of rocks. An argument breaks out at camp when Stephanie H. is accused of swapping Justin’s 6S Plus with a 5.
The losers of this week’s Immunity Challenge won’t just be sent to Tribal Council, they’ll be forced to watch either a marathon of Catfish or Kurt Loder-hosted reruns of The Week in Rock, as determined by the winning team.
The two tribes merge, and in a shocking twist, three Gen Z castaways join them on the island. The new additions quickly inspire resentment among the remaining millennials by fashioning what they claim are Apple Watches out of twigs.
Three Millennials choose to sit out the Immunity Challenge because Mercury is in retrograde.
Gen X-er Jake claims a decisive victory at the Reward Challenge, which this week is to recite the entirety of Reality Bites from memory.
Millennial Zak finds a Hidden Immunity Idol buried under a log, but rather than play it to his advantage in the game, he packs it away to sell in his Etsy shop when he gets back home. Kitschy!
Although she told her fellow castaways she was heading out to forage for food, Millennial Caitlyn spends the day scrawling would-be tweets into the sand in the hopes that passing helicopters will fave them.
Millennial Justin declines to have his mom visit during the season’s Family Reward, instead using this opportunity to have the network fly in a Tinder date.
After looking into a producer-provided mirror for the first time in weeks, every woman from the Gen X tribe is surprised to discover that her untouched hair has spontaneously grown into a perfect Rachel.
The Final Tribal Council comes to an unprecedented standstill when the Millennial members of the Jury refuse to vote for a Sole Survivor. “We’re all winners,” Lindsey insists. “Can’t we all win?”