When I am an old woman ?? I shall wear flannel with a Raspberry Beret that doesn’t go, and has always suited me, and I shall spend my “entitlement” on Shasta sodas and fingerless gloves and Candie’s ? sandals and say we’ve no money to spare for things made in ?? China. I shall sit down on the creative public space when I am tired, and introduce Ferris Bueller to my grandchildren and tell them about The Berlin Wall and Oklahoma bombing. I will make up for the so-called slacker days of my youth.
I shall go urban exploring in the ☔️ rain, and plant cutting flowers ? and tomatoes ? for young children, And finally forgive the Baby Boomers. After all, Vietnam. I will wear my old ironic T-shirts without apology and grow more glad, and eat three pounds of Cap’n Crunch at a go, or only ? Vegemite sandwiches and Pop Rocks for a week, and hoard pictures and CDs ? and mixtapes in boxes. But, for now we must keep working 8 to 5 or 7 to 6, And pay our taxes ? and not swear in the street at Millennials, And set a good example for Generation Z.
When I am old we will have our adult children over for dinner. Tell them everything will be OK. ?? Pray that it will. ?? And read the expatriate authors of the Lost Generation. And we will bless without ceasing and every breath will be gratitude and benediction.
Also, there is no need to practice a little now. Nobody will be too shocked and surprised ? when suddenly, I am old and start to wear flannel. ?
The above is a parody of Warning (also known as When I Am Old I Shall Wear Purple) by Jenny Joseph, an English poet born in 1932. Here is flannel.