When I am an old woman 👵🏻 I shall wear flannel with a Raspberry Beret that doesn’t go, and has always suited me, and I shall spend my “entitlement” on Shasta sodas and fingerless gloves and Candie’s 👡 sandals and say we’ve no money to spare for things made in 🇨🇳 China. I shall sit down on the creative public space when I am tired, and introduce Ferris Bueller to my grandchildren and tell them about The Berlin Wall and Oklahoma bombing. I will make up for the so-called slacker days of my youth.
I shall go urban exploring in the ☔️ rain, and plant cutting flowers 🌷 and tomatoes 🍅 for young children, And finally forgive the Baby Boomers. After all, Vietnam. I will wear my old ironic T-shirts without apology and grow more glad, and eat three pounds of Cap’n Crunch at a go, or only 🥕 Vegemite sandwiches and Pop Rocks for a week, and hoard pictures and CDs 💿 and mixtapes in boxes. But, for now we must keep working 8 to 5 or 7 to 6, And pay our taxes 💰 and not swear in the street at Millennials, And set a good example for Generation Z.
When I am old we will have our adult children over for dinner. Tell them everything will be OK. 🇺🇸 Pray that it will. 🙏🏼 And read the expatriate authors of the Lost Generation. And we will bless without ceasing and every breath will be gratitude and benediction.
Also, there is no need to practice a little now. Nobody will be too shocked and surprised 😳 when suddenly, I am old and start to wear flannel. 😀
The above is a parody of Warning (also known as When I Am Old I Shall Wear Purple) by Jenny Joseph, an English poet born in 1932. Here is flannel.