The following post was written shortly before I converted to Catholicism.

Little Girl’s Wedding Dress

I have a confession to make. When I was a little girl, I poured over the pages of the Sears and Montgomery Ward catalogs pining for one thing: a little white wedding dress in just my (pretty plus) size. At least, that’s what I thought it was. Turns out, it was a First Communion dress, intended for little Catholic girls preparing to take the sacraments of the Eucharist for the first time.

And, I was just a little Protestant girl who wanted to play dress-up. After church on Sunday, I routinely snuck into the pastor’s study to steal sips of Welch’s grape juice (if there was any) and snack on pinky-size unleavened bread. (You have to eat a lot of these before you get full.) The pastor was my dad, by the way.

Blood of Jesus Grape Juice

I don’t remember the first time I took communion, only that for years and years, the thought of drinking the blood of Jesus and eating His body was a little weird and scary to me. How did the blood of Jesus travel through the centuries and end up in a bottle of grape juice on the grocery store shelf? How did His body end up in a box of communion crackers for sale in a Bible bookstore? Religion can be so confusing to kids.

I think it’s even more confusing for adults, sometimes.

One thing about communion I’ve never been confused about, however, is when the preacher holds up the bread and quotes Jesus: “This is my body, which is broken for you.”

If such great purpose can be found in brokenness, then perhaps our own brokenness is the greatest mercy we will ever know.

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