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Of Lovers And The Saints We Are Becoming

I left them for you
Those prodigals of familiarity
Where we were not welcome

And I said
We are lonely
And someone said
Do you know how many lovers he has taken?

And, I wondered why
Did the veil have to be torn
If access involves consideration:
How many lovers have you taken?

I left them for you
With no guarantee that you will ever
Slip in beside me
Only the hope that anonymity will neutralize the loneliness
By which I was possessed.

I cannot hide in a vestibule of tax exemption.

In worship,
I imagine that you are next to me
I imagine our awakening
Emerging from these cocoons
Of separation from Awareness
Of the Source
Of what makes us
So beautiful

This Source
It is Love
It shatters darkness
And in July
You act on behalf
Of Summer Beauties

All that we’ve done matters
Repentance for the lovers we took yesterday
And the day before
And the day before that
Inasmuch as we tried to make them The Source

Repentance for the love we could not believe
Could not accept

All these lovers failed you
And you failed your lovers
And they robbed you.
Dammit, they robbed you.

And you – as beautiful as you are – robbed them

And, along the way
Each and everyone
Everywhere
Robbed
Someone of Something
Precious

Understanding
Mercy
Knowledge
Forgiveness
Surrender
Chance
Space
Time
Belief
Stillness

***

I left them for you
And that place
To which you hope I return
To tether you forever
To the heritage I valued
Not realizing it was an albatross

Its reach extended to you

And, now, I just want you to be OK
In a place transfixed by access to God
By all who come
Desperate to believe
In Love

***

I am saving this place for you
The one that is next to me
I hope you will join me
And stay forever
But, even if you don’t
I promise to never return
To embrace prodigals of familiarity
Who refuse to welcome

The saints we are becoming

And, I remember that time
When I helped reconstruct the veil

I didn’t know I was conspiring
To dilute
The Atoning Blood of the Lamb

 

Gen X Blog Jennifer Chronicles

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4 Comments

  1. me

    @OKLAHOMA GIRL – Thank you. (Brave or reckless?) Ha. Your words mean a lot to me.

    @GRACIE – Thanks for the courage, G.

  2. Oklahoma Girl

    WOW, this is one I will definately read again because I believe it will speak other messages with other readings. I have to agree with TR-definately one of your best. It is beautiful, heart-wrenching, thought provoking, honest, sad, lovely, true. It speaks to me on so many levels.

    Thank you dear girl for always speaking so truthfully, so bravely. You are a true talent & a voice of your readers.

    ~~blessed be…

  3. Anonymous

    Jen,
    This is a GREAT piece
    Thanks for sharing.
    Love you, Gracie

  4. me

    @JOHN! Thank you. I meant to removew that prior to posting. That was just for me.

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