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Three Graces

  I don’t remember the day my mother left my father and siblings and the sea-green stucco house on Sigman Street. I don’t remember the fight that drove her to leave. There were so many fights every day, all day long. I don’t remember arriving at my grandparents’...

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Keeping Watch

Why did my mom have to die? That’s a question a kid would ask, not a 52-year-old woman. I’m supposed to be too old to be this grief-stricken. My mother died in 2017. I’m never, ever going to get over it. I’m just going to get on with it. Get on with life. Keeping Watch So...

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Gladewater

When the trumpet of the Lord shall sound, and time shall be no more, And the morning breaks, eternal, bright and fair; When the saved of earth shall gather over on the other shore, And the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there. –James M. Black, 1893 I spent most of my junior high...

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Wintertide

Therefore I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end,...

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A Year Without My Mother

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 A year ago yesterday, my mother passed away. Today,  I have lived a year without her. No hell I’ve gone through in my life can compare to this loss. I have her dining room...

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A Time To Be Born

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die… –Ecclesiastes, 3:1 Yesterday, my sister drove to the small retirement village where my mother lived, and parked outside her apartment. The person who moved into my...

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Sprinkles

“Mama, just for a moment we’re happy. Let’s really look at one another.” –Thornton Wilder, Our Town Tonight, on the way to Bridgy’s baton twirling class, I stopped and got a frozen iced coffee from McDonald’s. I guess I forgot you’re not supposed to...

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Dearest Mom,

Dearest Mom, Happy Mother’s Day, Momma. You were my mom and always will be. And what a precious mom you were. It was so sweet coming to your place in the evenings. I marveled at how you sat in your chair and rolled your hair. At 83, you still wanted to look pretty and special. You were so...

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Withholding Love

The other day, I heard my late mother’s spirit tell me to write from my heart. That the secret to my success as a writer would come from being honest. I need to excavate the truth to the tip of my tongue, and no longer second-guess the Spirit that flows through me. I have to stop fighting...

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All In

When I saw her body laying on the kitchen floor, I was overcome with sorrow. All the life had gone out of her. It slipped away in the dark morning of Christmas Eve. I know she raged against it. After all, she had fought for years to stay with us. Through endless procedures and countless trips to...

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