Growing up as a preacher’s kid, Wednesday night prayer meetings were a regular stop on my Generation X childhood. It’s because of this that a huge piece is missing from my cultural memoir: Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, which were televised on Wednesday nights.
My father pastored small, rural churches, and in any given church, in any given town, 40 people showed up for church on Sundays and a walloping seven on Wednesday nights. This included my father, my mother and me. That left four people, including the pianist, scattered about a church that could seat 200.
Church Pew Number 34, by Peonies and Polaroids
I liked going to church because I loved pleasing my father, but honestly, it could be pretty boring for a young girl. Sitting in the pew, I’d pretend to pay attention to his sermons while I found ways to entertain myself. I’d draw pictures on offering envelopes; make all kinds of lists and play word games with hymns. I’d flip through all 300-plus pages of Praise and Worship or Worship in Song, putting the phrase “under the covers” after all the titles. It worked like this:
Just As I Am under the covers.
Joy Unspeakable under the covers.
How Great Thou Art under the covers.
Love Lifted Me under the covers.
One Wednesday night while doing this, I laughed out loud. My father stopped right in the middle of his sermon and said, “Jenni, do you care to share with the rest of us what is so funny?”
I have always had an uncontrollable giggle box. Once, when I attended the funeral of a high school classmate, I couldn’t stop laughing, even though I was terribly shaken by the loss. You see, someone at the funeral was wearing a wig and it was falling off.
And then there was the time during a revival at our church. It was 1977 and the evangelist’s wife, with her cat eyeglasses, sang a special. Her voice was so nasally and falsetto, I had to run to the bathroom to keep from cracking up. I was 10. Later, I told everyone I had to throw up, but the truth is I locked myself in the tiny bathroom and laughed and laughed and laughed. Even when I returned to the sanctuary I was still laughing.
Another time, during a Wednesday night prayer meeting, my dad had everyone kneel in the pews to pray. During the prayer, my brother and I were looking under the pews at all the ladies’ legs. One lady had on two different shoes, a red one and a blue one. My brother and I laughed so hard, we were crying. As if that wasn’t bad enough, we later realized that she was not wearing two different shoes, but a matching pair with a split vamp featuring red and blue. As she knelt we saw the red side of one shoe and the blue side of another.
All of this says nothing of the times I tried to pass away time in the pews by looking for the juicier parts of Song of Solomon. There aren’t that many, you know.
Looking back, I’m certain I got a lot out of those Wednesday nights. I sang all those hymns about galling fetters rent in twain and my soul being hid in the cleft of a rock (what?), and by the age of nine, I’d developed a gargantuan vocabulary. No wonder I wanted to be a writer.
I also picked up an awful lot of what my father had to say, and of course, all those hymns became prayers. I figured it up one day, by the age of 17, I’d sung 10,000 hymns. Somewhere along the way, I started believing them, and as it turns out, God took me seriously, like when I sang this:
It may not be on the mountain’s height,
or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front
my Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice He calls
to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Yours,
I’ll go where You want me to go.
At some point, I stopped laughing in church. Maybe it’s not such a good thing. In fact, for all the times I’ve sat in pews in more recent years, hoping to catch a glimpse of God, I think God has been searching for a glimpse of me – so we can laugh together again like we did when I was a kid.
@LATISHABABY – I agree! Thank you for visiting!!
i think u can laugh in church if you want
it says in the psalms that God laughs.
i am a 21st century xtian
God is real to me.
@ANODA PHASE – Thank you for your comment. Most certainly, feel free to share this! I still can’t believe how many people could relate to this. It’s like all children grow up trying to stifel their own laughter in church. I really think God gets a huge kick out of this.
And, you know, you’re right – depending on the church, the sermons aren’t boring. My pastor preaches exceptional sermons every time he speaks, and other pastors at my church, including a 20-something woman – are brilliant!!! Thanks for reminding me of that!
@ANONYMOUS NAZARENE – It’s GREAT! to hear from you. When I wrote this post I had no idea how universal laughing in the pew was. It comforts my heart to know I wasn’t the only one laughing while spanked down the step. Hysterical!!
Hi Jen
It’s my first time on ur blog and this post has absolutely cracked me up…and some of those comments (eg. S.Styers, Yogi and Lin)…LOL…thanks for giving me such a good laff today…it’s my hubby’s bday 2day n I’m going to share this with him so he can LOL as well…
I find your last paragraph particularly interesting…very touching, and indeed food for thought…
However I don’t agree with your reply to Billy’s comment, that all/most sermons are boring…I agree that some are, excruciatingly so, if I may say, but certainly not all or even most…in my church “Elim” for instance, we all eagerly look forward to the next sermon, both on Sundays and at mid-week services, cos it’s always fun, interesting, powerful, touching, and packed with life/Bible lessons…
Overall, I like this, and I’m going to share it…that’s if u don’t mind?
Cheers
Wow, What a great post!Lived and breathed it.I remember my father spanking me all the way down the steps of the church. My sister and I about busted our guts trying not to laugh in church. Sundays,Wed,Revivals,Camp meetings.
I am still a Nazarene and boy have things changed. Back then we had enough rules and regulations to fill a library!I remember thinking at times dear God please dont let me laugh out loud. Then I would look at my sister and then it would come out!I wish I could laugh like that now.
@Mary – I never thought about it, but you’re right. The one thing the church didn’t forbid was laughing, and boy if I ever rebelled. hahahahahaha!
Jennifer,
I certainly hope God has a sense of humor. I spent most of my childhood laughing in church. Doing what is forbidden makes it totally hilarious! My Dad’s singing put me over the edge…
Loved this post.
Mary
I think that church should be big enough for expressions of humor. I am quite certain that God has a sense of humor! I was just remembering when I went to church in Germany as a child of 11…there was a hymn with the line “Dein Weg wird hell”, which means that “Your path/way will be bright”…hell means bright. But of course I thought it funny that in English hell is H-E-double hockey sticks…you know, *that place*! So I couldn’t stop laughing and the whole pew shook…
@BILLY- I did that, too! Looked to see who had been dead the longest. LOL! Now that we don’t sing hymns in church anymore, I wonder what people do to cure their boredom. Based on some of hte answers I’ve received (DID YOU READ LIN’S ABOUT GOD’S EYE!!!??) I’m going to put together a list of 10 ways to survive a boring sermon (They’re all boring. Well, for the most part.)
Great post, Jen. I really love how you pulled it all together at the end. You have a special way with that.
Is there any wonder why lots of churches these days do not have a Wednesday evening service (Prayer Meeting). Guess prayer in church stopped being as popular after they took it out of the schools…
I flipped thru the PRAISE AND WORSHIP Hymnal looking at which songwriter has been dead the longest.
I remember our routine after Sunday evening services… we would frequently stop at Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house, and they would be watching THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY.
I would always hate missing the WIZARD OF OZ, and they always seemed to play it on Sundays!
Great post.
I went to a Baptish church so I got to watch the Hardy Boys, which usually ends with Shaun Cassidy singing. I think that funny’s now because in the books, the Hardy Boys never sang.
Ahhh…the dreaded Wednesday night services~ Such wonderful memories we all have! I did my share of laughing and got in my share of trouble because of it. Daddy could have one mean “eye”! Gosh…and that VOICE!
Somehow, it the midst of hearing one boring sermon after another, playing the same game as you did with the Hymnals, cracking up over the “Special Music” and getting in serious trouble for ditching Sunday School with our brother, I STILL managed to catch the message of SALVATION that flew through the air.
Thanks be to God and for His gracious understanding and acceptance of the hearts and minds of children.
xoB
Loved this post, especially the last line. When I was a teen I’d spend a good part of the Mass scanning the room for cute boys.
first time here
i like
I love this post!
You stirred up a lot of “growing up in church memories” for me. One of my personal favorites is sitting next to Grams at the Hacienda Heights church. She always smelled sweet and had an endless supply of ‘Sucrets’ in her purse to sustain me through Rev. Gardner’s sermons. I loved snuggling next to her. I remember staring at the wood ceiling trying to calculate in my mind the size of God’s eye. If He could see the whole world from heaven at one time, how big would it have to be? (I was way off, by the way…)
I also played that same game with the hymnal. (Every once in a while, I still do…)
Lin
@Lorrie – Thanks for stopping by!! How funny – but, you didn’t say what was so funny! Do tell!
@Yogi – that part about slapping the fly is so funny. It’s like all the times I got hiccups. With only a handful of people in the church, my dad finally suggested I go get a cup of water. When I figured out hiccups could be out of church, well, I started getting them a lot. Ha!!!
Hi Jen!
Love your new banner and your link within.
I get the giggles like you do. Last time it happened at church I was the maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding. I laughed until snot poured out of my nose, and both hands were filled with bouquets so I couldn’t wipe it away. Her mother does not speak to me to this day.
We lived all over the west in small towns when I was a kid and went to to whatever mainline church that was available. The one I remember most was an Episcopal church in Utah. We had to kneel a lot and I hated it. The hymns were boring, the prayer book was dreary. It got worse when I became an altar boy. Then I had to be bored in front of everybody. I would daydream and forget to do stuff and get glared at by the priest. One time I forgot where I was and slapped a fly real hard with my hands and made everybody jump.
We moved back to Arizona and there we went to a Presbyterian Church. No kneeling!!! No altar boys, double yea!!
@Rob – Oh, “the key to church growth.” One of my least favorite phrases. But, you are right dear, there is a Proverb – joy that isn’t shared dies young. And, this: “How happy and content art thou in the bosom of thy Father.”
@S Styers – That story is hilarious. I’m glad you shared it – and the part about “backslid since that morning.” Thank goodness things have changed and I don’t think I have to get saved every Sunday. I listened to the testimony of Rachel Barkey recently – 37, wife and mother, dying of cancer. She said she kept asking God into her heart every week because she was afraid He might have slipped out.
@Glynis – I had no idea you were Nazarene! Thanks for reading my post and laughing at my humor. Despite my under the covers references, I really was a good girl. =0 hahahaha
Jen, I think you should laugh out loud whenever the spirit moves you. God wants us to laugh and be happy. That’s probably the key to “church growth”, just being happy. I can’t wait for your first outburst in church. Rob
Great piece! I can totally relate! (Nazarene, small churches, Wednesday night prayer meetin’s, Revivals! I remember one revival night – the evangelist (of the hellfire variety) was very busy damning everyone that had “back-slid” since that morning, and my brother slipped me a note (on the offering envelope) that said something like “I bet he eats boogers when no one is watching”. Not as funny now as it was when I was 12, because then I started the uncontrollable giggle, which eventually turned into the pig-snorting laugh, and of course, the red-faced evangelist looked straight at me, and screamed, “You will not think what I say is so funny when you are chained up in Hell, young’un!” You better believe I hit the altar that night!
So true! I was not raised Nazarene but married in to a generationally Nazarene family. Grandpa, Dad, and if Grandma had her way, my husband were all Nazarene pastors. Laughter abounded outside the church, but was never allowed inside. Never really understood, I was a bad Nazarene!
I’m glad life has relaxed and we enjoy many a giggle on Sundays and Wednesdays now. Thank you God for giving the laughter back. Thanks for giving me the giggles this gray afternoon!